Failure is the Only Option.

Something interesting, and a little more than sad has been happening recently, and it's left me at a loss for how to address or fix it.

Two of the boys in my class, Dean and David, are extremely bright. Their grades and test scores don't show it, though, since the second I start my math lessons, they say, "I can't do this. It's too hard." Dean slouches in his chair and his eyes glaze over. David turns around and then tries to wander the room finding something else to do. When I let the students practice what I just taught, Dean tries once, I tell him to fix one or two things, and he says, "Forget this! This is impossible!" He slams his pencil on his desk and pushes his paper away, slouching back, pouting, and not participating the rest of the hour. David just sits there staring blankly at the blank-er paper on his desk saying, "I don't know what to do."

I've been extremely encouraging. Some of the items on the LXS Values and Code of Conduct are to be your best at all times, never give up, believe in yourself, and have no fear of failure. There's even a saying on the side that says "Impossible is NOTHING" (Don't sue, Adidas... please). I preach these like they they're the word of God. I tell them that they can do it, and that I believe in them. But, it doesn't seem to be working.

These two boys are the oldest in my class. They're both 11 going on 12, which should put them in middle school. But, for some reason or another, they are still in 4th grade, and far behind in both reading and math. At such a young age they've already experienced and internalized failure, and for obvious reasons, hate it. Since they can't do anything right, they've decided they might as well not try. But of course, if they don't try, they never learn it, and then they end up failing anyway.

I know I need to give them a taste of success and show them that they can do this. I also have to teach the idea of malleable intelligence - that if you work hard, you become smart. Regardless, there's something so wrong and sad about an 11 year-old that already truly believes that he can't do anything right. All those defiant behaviors that people see coming down the line in middle school and high school come from a defense mechanism against failure. I wonder how many people have ever told them that they are capable of learning all this stuff. I also wonder what it's going to take for them to believe it themselves.

For a much better blog post about this subject, you can read this.

PS. For all the fans of Allen... He's been absent from school for the last 10 straight days. Apparently, his whole family is very sick. I know I should be doing more to check in and make sure they're doing all right, but right now I feel like I need to concentrate on the classroom and deal with catching him up when he gets back. Is that wrong?