Am I Missing Something?

The principal held a meeting with all of the recess/lunch supervisors this morning to discuss the "situation with the 5th graders."

According to her, the 5th graders are going through senioritis in a big way. There has been a recent rash of inappropriate behavior, requiring drastic action by all of us. Here are the inappropriate behaviors:

• Last Friday at an afterschool event, two fifth graders spit on a girl.
• Two kids had weaponlike items (nail files) and someone said they were threatening to use them.
• Some boys were tackling and choking each other at recess.
• Kids are playing Truth or Dare at recess, and a kid ate dirt.
• Some kids are "dry humping" each other.
• People have been reported kissing.
• Kids say they're going to the library or bathroom, but they just end up wandering or walking slowly.
• They don't play anymore, they're just loitering in groups.

The prescribed response to all these issues is for all of us recess/lunch monitors is to "act like you're prison guards. Get your rifles out. Groups are a no-no. Break them up. Hurry them along. Tell them to play sports. But only certain sports on certain days. Again, congregating is not allowed. We need to get tough. It's prison out there. Get your rifles out."

I wish I were making up the employed simile but I'm not.

OK, I'm not saying all of this behavior is excusable. But I think only numbers one, six, and perhaps two are concerning. Interestingly, the principal said the kissing is something they're used to, and the rest is new and more concerning.

So, why am I not concerned about the tackling? I watch the 5th graders and about a week ago started seeing boys joking around with each other and either fake fighting, play wrestling, or falling all over each other playing tag. I pulled the boys out and talked to all the 5th graders, saying that I know it's not mean spirited or aggressive, and that I know they're just having a good time. But, they had to understand that it's not appropriate behavior for school. I had to come down "hard" on a few boys two more times, but that behavior has stopped.

As for the other issues?

• Truth or Dare is a game. It can become inappropriate, but it is a game. A kid ate dirt. That is weird and it shows a lack of common sense. Both are conversations, perhaps with the whole grade.
• "Dry humping" is the 5th grade tattletale translation for a girl/boy hugging another girl/boy and lifting them up into the air.
• Watch recess intently, and they won't be able to sneak off to smooch. And what is wrong with walking slowly? Or not playing with a ball at recess?

Again, I'm not excusing this behavior, and I'm not saying nothing should be done. But, there are definitely problems with the adult response to it, and it's because of two factors:

1. Everything that's being acted upon is coming from people telling on other people. I'm not saying the kids are lying, but 5th graders don't always paint the most accurate picture. "He/She said" should be taken with a grain of salt (this is why I question #2).
2. These are issues of 5th graders (10-11 year old kids) not understanding what is appropriate and inappropriate for school (or perhaps outside of school for that matter), and not having the most common sense. But they're 5th graders. Come on.

Knowing this, why is the adult response to go on lockdown and punish the kids (today 40 kids were told to sit on the blacktop for 30 minutes in silence) without having them understand WHY the adults are concerned? The principal said that we can loosen up if they behave better, but what is behaving better? Complete silence? Without talking to them, how are they ever going to know what is appropriate and inappropriate?

By all means, move someone to the bathroom to watch the area. By all means, address those who spat, those who tackled, those who kiss and hug, and those who threaten to use nail files. But address them by having them understand WHY. Address the issue by having everyone understand that question. Otherwise, the kids aren't going to figure it out, and the grownups are just going to be mad that they can't.

It's elementary school. It's recess. I can imagine few things that are more unlike prison.

UPDATE: I found out this afternoon that recess at the other school I work at has implemented the following rules: no imaginary play, no sitting alone, no running, no dancing, no screaming, and you must play with a ball. Oh, and "no walking around" is under consideration. WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON?

Who Hires These People?

Sometimes at work I see things that frustrate me so much or make me so mad that I have to leave the room to let the moment pass. This happened today:

In Friday homework period, we ask the kids to read for 30 minutes since they usually don't have homework. A kid that gets in trouble with all the other teachers raises his hand. He seems to be having trouble reading. He is a very good reader and normally reads without problems. He tells me it's because he's hungry. The book he's reading mentions food every other page, making him hungrier. He shows me paragraphs about waffles and buttermilk pancakes, and asks for another book. I give him a book about deadly animals. "Awesome!" He dives in, not saying another word.

A few minutes later, another teacher walks in the room. She sees him reading, and asks why he's reading that book in an accusatory tone. I've seen this lady pick fights with this SECOND GRADE BOY over drinks of water and trips to the bathroom where she ends the argument by yelling, "I'm the teacher! I can do whatever I want! You have to listen to me!" so I jump in and tell her that he is hungry and the other book was making him hungrier. I try to emphasize that I gave him the other book thinking she might just drop it. In the most sarcastic tone, she says, "Oh, sure. I believe that garbage."

(I must be an idiot for falling for his trick! I mean, I'm just a dumb kid out of college and she has so much experience! Really, thanks for opening up my eyes and curing me of my naïveté!)

She yells at him for the next five minutes about how he doesn't get to make up stupid excuses, he needs to just read his book, and stop talking and complaining. He opens the book, blocking his face from her. I see from the side that he is calling her names and snarling. He snaps the book shut, puts his head down and proceeds to ignore her as she asks him ever louder, "Is that reading? Is that reading? Huh?"

No, he is not reading. No, he is not learning. But he was. Way to go.

I learned three things from witnessing this today:

1. Start each day brand new. There are no bad kids, only bad behaviors.
2. Set your own example. Follow the rules.
3. Don't take yourself too seriously. Be a kid, too.

I'll explain how these lessons relate to the story, but right now I'm too tired from holding off three 2nd graders and four 4th graders in an all-out marathon game of Cops and Robbers. I love that I get my workouts in at work.

I'm So Mature

I was joking around with a kid today after recess when she said,
"Whatever, Mr. Fartyface!"

To this, I ingeniously responded, "At least I'm not a Poopyface!"

The following 10-second argument ensued:

"Fartyface!"
"Poopyface!"
"Fartypoopface King!"
"Go to class."
"Fine, Mr. Poopypantsface!"

I win!

Thing(s) I Learned Today

Be patient and then be more patient.

Don't forget to say, "Please" and "Thank you."

Lesson of the Day

Always be in a good mood. Even when you're not.

Worrying About Fun

Just looking at pictures of camp reminds me of all the carefree, fun times I had doing something I love(d?) to do. When's the next time I'm going to be able to sing dumb songs and play stupid games, and still feel like I belong? It took me a while to get to a place where I could allow myself to be who I really am and let others see, and it feels like I'm going to have to start all over soon in a place where they won't want to see that. Then again, maybe I'm just thinking too much. Maybe I just need to go there and get my mind right, and it will be just as fun as it is different from everything I've done before. I don't know. But I do miss camp.

Praying in Taiwan

It's a very religious time right now in Taiwan, and so I've been going to temples and tombs to pray a lot. Since there's a lot of gods, I've been basically saying the same thing over and over again. I've been asking that my family and friends have health and success. Then, I've been asking a lot to be able to know right from wrong and good from bad. I don't know why that matters so much, but when I leave that's really something I hope I can keep in mind.