More Than Halfway Through.

It's been a while since I've posted since it's been nonstop work since I got here. Institute has been a roller coaster. I've gone from having a great day where all of my students understood the lesson to watching every single one of them stare at me without a clue about what I was asking of them.

I'm barely keeping up with my lesson plans, and it still confuses me that they're allowing me to teach kids who are on the cusp of getting into the next grade, and that if they do not do well, they might be held back and be seriously off track for the rest of their lives. Most of the time I really don't understand how anyone can think I am a competent enough person to have this kind of responsibility. I feel like I'm failing them, and they deserve better than me.

They keep saying that it's all right since we're all new teachers and we don't have that much experience, but given how far behind some of these kids are, are we hurting more than we're helping? Our students have grown 29% in their math scores so far (we're supposed to get 100%), but I have a feeling when they get their mid-Institute test based on what I had to teach them last week, that's going to drop a LOT.

Maybe I am getting better as the weeks go by, but sometimes I get so burned out that putting everything I can into this every day means less than I know I am capable of.

All right, that's enough complaining. If there is one thing keeping me going through all this, it is that my kids all work incredibly hard. It's very clear that although some need extra help, they're all very bright students. Back to work. For them.